Friday, September 3, 2010

What the .... is wrong with my karma?

Okay, so you've read about the acute allergie 2 weeks ago, which was dreadfull, and the antihistamine gave me an almost just as worse effect, which should finally be leaving me systen now.
Then, last week, I got a virus that went for my throat and my nose. Now, alsmost a week later it has left me with a sore throat, eras that producs sounds like old radio noise and a running nose. So it's still not totally gone yet.

So what's new?
Well, I bumped my head. Or better said: I smashed my skull at topspeed agains a massive wooden corner of my makeuptable (see!? It's makeup related :P)

What happened? On tuesday I wanted to make sure our cats were upstairs before I went tout. So I checked under the bed and there they were(well Loki was anyway, Odin was sleeping in the bedroom already).
So, because I was in a hurry, I jumped up to go downstairs. Instead, I jumped with my body, but my head kept hanging on the underside/corner of my wooden makeup table my dad made me when I was a kid. (it's pretty close to the bed).
Tears sprang in my eyes, and I felt the worst pain EVER. Standing didn't really feel like a option either. But I had to a lot of stuff to do on my only day off, so I collected myself and went. Yeah I'm tough/stupid like that. Having had the two weeks(or summer) I was having, one more thing didn't really seem to matter anymore.
I had some trouble focusing on things and was really tired...and ofcourse had a splitting headache, but it went ok. Except washing my hair, which felt like someone was trying to pull out my hair.
Then on wednesday, I started feeling weird...but since I was having aftereffects of the anithistamine and the virus, I thought it wasn't really something new. In the evening I had a splitting headache again and I felt soooooo  cold. But again, I had the cold thing with the virus aswell.

Yesterday(I'm writing this on the day it happened, thursday), I went to my other job, in Amsterdam. My job there involves a lot of bending and picking up things. Everytime I picked something up, my head started to pound. Also, my mind seemed to wonder all on it's own, concentrating took a lot of energy and even then, my mind slipped a few times. On the stairs(we have more then one), I even almost fell...backwards. Luckely I always hold the handle, otherwise, I might have fallen. Not a very entertaining idea. I started feeling worse. So I decided to go to the doc, right after work. For me, that meant like 1,5 hours later, since I have to use the train and walk partly, home.

At the doc, they decided I needed to see the doc in person, so I got an immediate appointment. He took some tests: I had to walk feet in front of each other towards him and he tested my eyes. He asked me lots of questions and I told him of my last 3 weeks. He then felt my head (he didn't just feel, he pushed and pressed: OUCH!), and told me ''you have a mild concussion.'' Yeah, I came in with ''I think I might have a concussion.'' So big surprise there.
But now I have to rest....which isn't easy with 2 jobs. I'm not sure what to do now, because I have to work tonight. It's only for 4 hours though, so I think I'll just talk it through with my boss. This weekend I have 2 days off, BUT I was going to a family party. Now I'm not sure if that is a good thing, considering the amount of traveltime (think 3,5 h to and 3,5 hc fro) and energy it costs. But I don't have a lot of chances to see them all, and last time there was a big party(my grandma turned 80), I had to miss it because of snow.(the trains were down).

Still the doc said it doesn't necesarily means I have to stay at home, but I had to take in account the slipping concentration adn balance. Resting is an issue for me, because I'm always busy with 100 things all at once, especially in my head. No wonder it hurts like crazy now. BEing behind a computer doesn't make it feel better either.

These bad sort of episodes always seem to fall on us once in a while. Where just everything goes wrong. Is it because we are just too happy and it needs to be evened out? Have I been a bad person in another life?
Please tell me, because I've always done my best to be a good person, what the ... is wrong with my karma?




6 comments:

  1. Ik heb net hezelfde aan de hand! Alleen heb ik wel geen hersenschudding.. Alles gaat verschrikkelijk mis de laatste 2 weken ;/ Het zal niet zozeer aan jezelf liggen denk ik hoor, en het kan enkel beter gaan vanaf nu! ;)

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  2. Niks karma, slecht persoon, gewoon ordinaire stomme pech..'t gebeurt ons allemaal regelmatig, troost je!
    Heeeeel veel sterkte en rustig aan!!!

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  3. Als er iemand is die geen slechte karma heeft, dan moet jij dat wel zijn want je bent altijd zo'n goed persoon!
    Ik ken je dan wel niet in het echt, maar het straalt gewoon van je af.
    Ik ben zelf ook vaak ziek en stoot mn hoofd ook aan de meest rare objection (de wc rolhouder bijvoorbeeld ;) ) dus ik snap wel hoe het voelt.
    Zo heb ik dus een hersenschudding gehad nadat ik mn hoofd had gestoten aan een stoel!
    Het is wel belangrijk dat je veel rust en dat je lekker veel water drinkt.
    Iniedergeval beterschap!

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  4. Thanx allemaal. Het is ook niet zozeer dat ik echt geloof ik karma, maar op n gegeven mment geloof je niet meer in toeval.
    Als dit nog t enige was, maar echt alles ging deze zomer mis :( Op een gegeven moment is mn emmertje gewoon vol en dan trek ik t ff niet meer. Net als in de zomer 3 jr terug dat we dit huis kregen, echt -alles- ging mis met t huis. En daar bovenop kwamen we er toen achter dat Sid diabetes had.

    Tuurlijk gaan er af en toe dingen mis, maar waarom altijd in 1 keer zoveel? *zucht*

    @snooze, ik wens je dan veel geluk, want dat kun je dan blijkbaar ook wel gebruiken :)

    @morgaine, thanx. Ik ben iemand die altijd 1000 dingen tegelijk aan t doen is, dus t word wel ff lastig. Maar ik ga mn best doen.

    @freya, dat vind ik echt heel erg lief van je. :)
    Ik ben normaal nooit echt een kluns, let altijd heel goed op wat ik doe. Maar ik zit er n btje doorheen denk ik. Iedereens reactie is ook 'Hoe heb je dat nou weer gedaan?', helemaal verbaasd enzo. Ik slaap in ieder geval erg veel, en ik drink tegenwoordig al water(wat ik erg vies vind), dus ik doe mn best :)

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  5. Neeee! kun je je niet gewoon lekker ziekmelden? Wat een pech .. Ik geloof in jouw geval ook niet in bad case of karma hoor ;-). Probeer lekker rustig aan te doen, wees lief voor jezelf, mag ook wel eens!

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  6. I read your post and one thing came to my mind. Maybe it is not karma. Maybe it is bad energy.

    Like Feya said, you are a good person, you radiate it (yup, google translator folks) and I agree with her 100%. You are caring, hard working and downright a good person. You and Sid.

    Let me tell you an experience I had a couple of weeks back.

    My aunt asked me to help and do her makeup for a wedding party. She's amazing but is getting old. She has the body of a 20y/o and the face of a sun abused 55y/o. I did her makeup and when you do that, you have to look the person in the eye, it's a little intimate moment and there is a heavy exchange of energy between you and your subject. Anyway, after 30 min or so I was done and she was all the time telling me how good I looked, no wrinkles and stuff (I’m super pale and her skin is forever dark and blotchy). And when she looked at herself I could see she was a little disappointed with her face not being young anymore. My uncle left me here at home and I continued with my day. It was early like 11 am or so. After some 20 min after I got home I started feeling sick and tired and all these bad feelings were roaming in my mind. A fear that came out of nowhere, sadness and queasiness, I was lightheaded and had a splitting headache. I didn't know what to do or where that came from. I started to cry and went to sleep to see if things would improve. When I woke up, 4h hours later, I was still feeling like crap and then it hit me. Those emotions weren't mine. I love my aunt and I know she loves me but her resentment and envy even tho she probably didn't mean, drained me energetically and what I was feeling were the aftershocks of that. I took a shower and snapped the energy around me, and that helped a lot. It took me 2 days to overcome that.

    What I'm trying to say is, you deal with ppl all the time. Ppl who know you and ppl who are meeting you for the first time. There is an energy exchange with all of them. Some are good and some are bad. Maybe a batch of bad energy and/or energy drain triggered all this. Like a snow ball making you feel worse and worse. Lowering your defenses triggering your allergy and lowering your attention since you were so down the past weeks over all the bad stuff happening.

    I suggest you protect yourself. Wear a Greek eye or eye of Horus, a fig hand, your birthstone, amethysts and emeralds are also good, a four leaved clover... well you got the idea. I bet there are lots of other symbols in your culture for protection.

    I wouldn’t consider finding out about Sid’s diabetes a bad thing tho. It’s a very big problem and I know you guys caught it so soon that after a good battle he’s mastering it bit by bit and it hasn’t evolved. I would take that as a lucky strike. To look at it in with a mystical eye, the problem is a lot more elaborate than just karma or bad energy.

    Well, this is my 2cents. I hope it helps.

    *hug* and I sincerely hope this all go away and you feel better my dear Lexilyng.

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